Relationships Don’t Take Depression/Anxiety Away – Part 1

 

Written by Dominique Bancey

This topic in itself hits me so hard which is why I put part 1 because I know for a fact that I’m going to have a lot to say that I don’t want to have to summarize into a single article.

First off, there are plenty of angles this article could go into, and also could be seen from.

I want to start this off with the perspective from partners/friends who believe that someone should ‘feel better’ because they are in that person’s life.

Some of you may have read that and are genuinely shocked that people are like that, but trust me, I’ve experienced it firsthand, along with just observing from the outside. Relationships are referring to both romantic and platonic.

Many times when a person becomes involved with someone who has depression or anxiety, they assume that because they are in that person’s life, the individual should automatically feel better about themselves. Overall, even individuals who do not suffer from a mental illness still suffer from bad times while in relationships, so why should it be any different? A common phrase or sentence that pops up when the person is going through a depressive episode tends to be, “Oh so I don’t make you happy anymore?”

Let’s dig deeper into this question – “Oh so I don’t make you happy anymore?”

Happiness, comes from within. Someone may contribute to another person’s happiness or cause them to make them happier than they already are but true happiness, is a trait that can only come from within. A depressive episode causes this individual to go through extreme sadness, it doesn’t mean that what you do for and with them isn’t satisfying, it just means that their mental illness is taking over and the little things you’re doing have lost the fight with depression.

Being with someone or being friends with someone who has a mental illness can cause you to feel like you have one too. This doesn’t mean you do have one and you know exactly what they’re going through, it just means that you have to try to understand more, instead of assuming that they’ll feel better because you’re around.

Unfortunately part 1 has already come to an end, but most definitely stick around for part 2.

Until next time.

 

4 Common Misconceptions about Depression

Written by Dominique Bancey-Dominique Bancey is the writer of our new column The Thought Banc, where she writes on all things mental health and black culture.

There are many things people say about depression that just simply isn’t true. I will be naming a few and giving a few short explanations about why they are indeed misconceptions

Depression is a weakness

Depression isn’t picky. It doesn’t look for the person who has just been kicked out, or just got fired, it’s a condition and it doesn’t care who you are, or how strong/weak you are. Having depression doesn’t lessen your strength. 

Depression = Sadness

This is one of the most common misconceptions honestly. Especially in today’s society, many individuals go through terrible periods in their life that is filled with immense sadness yet they say, “Oh I’m so depressed.” Feeling down and being depressed are two different things. Depression can be brought on by feelings of sadness, but feeling down doesn’t last as long as an episode of depression.

Everyone who has depression experiences it the same

After all, depression is a mental illness, there is no way everyone with it is going to experience it the same. When you and your friend have a cold, you may have similar symptoms, but the both of you aren’t going to experience it the exact same way, and that’s the same with depression and any other mental illness. It causes different people to react or to feel different ways. 

Depression is all in your head

This is definitely a very popular one. Someone with depression can’t just shut it off or ‘suck it up’. Persons from the outside only see the emotional side of depression where you may be acting different or doing things differently, but they don’t see how it physically affects you. So they automatically assume that it’s a feeling you can easily control. They don’t realize that it’s not a light switch you can turn on or off, that’s not how it works

Unfortunately, there are plenty of other misconceptions about depression, but hopefully these will be understood by you and you will share it with others. 

Until next time.

How Depression Affects Your View of the World

Written by Salina Jivani

You can’t get out of bed.
You’ve lost interest in hobbies.
Happiness seems to escape you.

If any of these sound familiar, you’re likely suffering from depression—and that can affect you. Badly.

Here are just a few of the ways the dreaded “D” word can transform your outlook on life, leaving you a shell of your former self.

You let go of routine appointments
The dentist, your manicurist, and even your hairdresser are a thing of the past for the depressed. But even simple things like making your hair, or caring for your appearance and hygiene don’t happen because they seem like huge chores you no longer have sufficient energy for, or can accomplish with ease.

 

To-do lists are pointless
You used to be a beast with to-do lists, zapping items off at record-breaking speed. But all of a sudden, you don’t know where your to-do list is, let alone what’s on it. You simply lack the motivation to do anything, because nothing seems worthwhile. If this disregard carries into your work responsibilities, it’s likely your declining performance will catch the eye of your colleagues or manager.

 

You push everyone away
One of the most painful things about depression is that it transforms relationships…for the worse. You might find yourself swinging between extremes of irritability or anger with the drop of a hat. Maintaining relationships with even your most favorite people may become increasingly difficult and require a lot more energy than you feel you have. Soon, you might find yourself distancing yourself…from everyone, because it’s easier than facing them.

Depression is a serious illness that can have long-term, devastating repercussions if it remains untreated. Seek counseling, try exercising or consider self-help practices. If your depression worsens, see a doctor. When it comes to depression, ignorance is definitely not bliss.