What Is “Imposter Syndrome” Is—and How You Can Overcome it

Written by Salina Jivani

You’re a bad-ass employ. You’re the star of meetings, you’ve got this fancy work title that makes you look like you’re all that in a bag of M&Ms, and you’ve even got a degree to prove you’re the real deal.

 

So why do you still feel like you’re a fake? Because you’ve got a bad case of the “imposter syndrome.”

 

You know what it’s like: that overwhelming feeling that you don’t deserve the credibility you’re receiving, or that you’re not really an expert, though everyone seems to think you are. And while you’re thinking about it, are you even good at what you do?

 

Imposter syndrome sucks, because it makes you question your ability—and sometimes even your worth in a career. Fortunately, there are ways to get over that horrible, sinking feeling that you’re nothing but a fraud.

 

Focus on your successes—not your failures

Imposter syndrome can often rear its ugly head when things go absolutely wrong and you don’t perform your best. But it can also happen when things are going great. Remember that you are where you are in your career because of your successes and accomplishments, not your failures. So focus on the positive.

 

Know that it’s not just you

If you feel like it’s just you who suffers imposter syndrome, take comfort in knowing that that’s not the case. Even the most famous and successful of talent, people like Tom Hanks, Tina Fey and Emma Watson, have had suffered this feeling. In fact, it’s said that up to 70% of people are likely to have imposter syndrome at some point in their lives.

 

Talk to someone

Speaking with a good friend or coworker about your feelings may surprise and reassure you because you’ll likely find that they, too, share or have experienced similar doubts—which should prove that imposter syndrome is totally normal and certainly nothing specific to you or any inadequacies you may feel you have.

 

If you feel overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy, be sure to consult with a professional or work on things that help boost your confidence—like extra trainings or classes. Investing in yourself is one of the best investments you’ll ever make.

Embedded microchips: Are They in Your Immediate Future?

Written by Salina Jivani

Nose jobs, liposuction and breast implants, move aside. Soon you might be asked to insert a chip into your skin for things as simple as getting you through the security gates of your office building.

 

Sounds creepy, strange, and just a tad invasive, no? You’re right, but unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on which side of the fence you’re on), embedding microchips into humans is already happening…which means it could be the new “thing” sooner rather than later.

 

In fact, a company is Wisconsin is already planning on inserting these chips into 50 employees so they can access their work buildings and log into their computers without the need for entrance cards or log-in credentials.

 

Places like Sweden have replaced train tickets with chips inserted in passengers’ hands. Even pets owners have used chips in their pets to keep them from getting lost—which begs the question: How safe are these chips?

 

According to the Food and Drug Administration (FDA), they might be pretty safe. The FDA initially approved the use of a Radio Frequency chip in 2004 and has since prompted people who’ve had the chip inserted into them to report any issues to its website.

 

Pet owners have reported issues like loss of limb function, lymphoma, cancer and sudden deaths due to chip implants.

 

So what does this mean for the larger population? To chip or not to chip? The debate is still raging. While employers, particularly in places like Sweden, favor chip insertion in employees, arguing that it makes life a whole lot simpler, others will clearly need some getting used to the idea—if/when and before it ever becomes the new “thing.” In either case, don’t be surprised if you’re one day asked to toss your passports in the trash…your hands may be the only boarding pass you’ll need.

The Scientific Secret to Amazing Sex

Written by Salina Jivani

Remember what it felt like when you first started dating? The fire burning in your belly, the desire-filled glances, and how you couldn’t get enough of each other?

 

And then two years later, you’re eating out of a bucket of Ben & Jerry’s, cuddled up on the couch, limbs entangled, watching “Titanic,” with little to no desire to get freaky…what happened to the sparks?

 

No, they didn’t fizzle out like a campfire under an ice-cold bucket of water. They’re still there, they just need some reviving, which isn’t difficult, really. The secret’s in one word: responsiveness. And really, responsiveness is a two-part deal: physical responsiveness and verbal responsiveness.

 

When your partner’s talking, don’t tune them out. Listen—actually listen—and respond to what they’re saying. Ask them what they’re feeling, respond when they share something with you, and be present when they’re sharing their thoughts instead of tuning into that Super Bowl commercial. Being responsive through words is called verbal responsiveness.

 

On the other hand, physical responsiveness is, well, pretty self explanatory (and fun). Hugging, kissing, caressing and making love are all a part of physical responsiveness.

 

Now, combine verbal and physical responsiveness, and what have you got? A recipe for a hot, steamy, satisfying session between the sheets. Why? Because everyone loves feeling important, cared for, and physically appreciated—and when you’re responsive toward your partner, that’s exactly what you make them feel, creating a sizzling equation for mind-boggling sex.

 

So go on. The next time your partner tells you they’re not in the mood, give it a try and watch the sparks fly.

3 Ways Life is Scientifically Different for Men and Women

Written by Salina Jivani

You say potato, he hears pot-ta-toe. He says cheese, you hear sneeze. Women and men speak different tongues. But it’s no coincidence. In fact, nature proves that these two genders are different in many ways…on purpose. Here are three scientifically proven ways we differ from the opposite gender.

Women see more colors than men

She says mint-colored scarf and you a grab lime-colored one. It happens…quite often. And it’s not because men are dense or careless. It’s simply because women are able to detect more shades than men. Something to do with our hunter-gatherer days and how women were charged with avoid lethal shades of berries and pick out the right ones, keeping everyone safely fed.

Men need less shuteye

If you find your woman reaching for the snooze button while you’re rearing to go a million miles an hour, it’s not because she’s lazy. It’s more because women tend to multitask more, take on more stress and sleep more restlessly than men, meaning their brains need an average of about 20 minutes more to recover from it all.

Women usually feel cold faster than men

Ever find yourself battling your spouse over the thermostat? Temperature is a common gripe among many couples—and with good reason. Science proves that because of the different metabolic rates in men and women, women tend to feel colder than men—at home, work and everywhere in between.

While we may not completely ever understand the opposite sex (or agree with them) isn’t it comforting to know that the forces of nature meant to make us different?

4 Life Lessons Women Over 50 Want to Share with You

Ever wish you could tell your younger self something? Or wish you’d done something differently in life? The beauty of life is that while we cannot change the past, we can always learn from people who’ve traversed the territory or phase of life we’re currently struggling through. If you’re a woman, here are life lessons women over 50 want to share with you…and their younger selves.

Don’t be too serious

Ever feel the tension in your shoulders and the anxiety thrumming through you? Yes, life can be stressful, but remember every problem is temporary. Make the most of every moment by remembering to laugh, smile and enjoy the moment. Don’t dwell so much on trivial matters that will be insignificant by tomorrow.

Become a better listener

When you listen—really listen—you learn so much more about the world around you…and the people in it. Practice good listening skills and learn to ask astute questions. Doing so will improve your understanding of people and give you wisdom.

Make yourself #1

We’re daughters one moment, wives the next and soon, moms. In the midst of those responsibilities, it’s easy to shove your needs on the backburner. But remember, to be a strength in other’s lives, you’ve got to commit first to yourself. Focus on your well being and health—both physical and mental. When you’re taken care of, so will be the people you love.

Surround yourself by positivity

Positivity breeds positivity. Keep company with good, positive people in your life and pull that energy into your own life. It won’t be long before you notice that positive things will automatically swing your way.

Remember: It’s never too late to affect a positive change in your life. And it’s better to start late than never.

How Depression Affects Your View of the World

Written by Salina Jivani

You can’t get out of bed.
You’ve lost interest in hobbies.
Happiness seems to escape you.

If any of these sound familiar, you’re likely suffering from depression—and that can affect you. Badly.

Here are just a few of the ways the dreaded “D” word can transform your outlook on life, leaving you a shell of your former self.

You let go of routine appointments
The dentist, your manicurist, and even your hairdresser are a thing of the past for the depressed. But even simple things like making your hair, or caring for your appearance and hygiene don’t happen because they seem like huge chores you no longer have sufficient energy for, or can accomplish with ease.

 

To-do lists are pointless
You used to be a beast with to-do lists, zapping items off at record-breaking speed. But all of a sudden, you don’t know where your to-do list is, let alone what’s on it. You simply lack the motivation to do anything, because nothing seems worthwhile. If this disregard carries into your work responsibilities, it’s likely your declining performance will catch the eye of your colleagues or manager.

 

You push everyone away
One of the most painful things about depression is that it transforms relationships…for the worse. You might find yourself swinging between extremes of irritability or anger with the drop of a hat. Maintaining relationships with even your most favorite people may become increasingly difficult and require a lot more energy than you feel you have. Soon, you might find yourself distancing yourself…from everyone, because it’s easier than facing them.

Depression is a serious illness that can have long-term, devastating repercussions if it remains untreated. Seek counseling, try exercising or consider self-help practices. If your depression worsens, see a doctor. When it comes to depression, ignorance is definitely not bliss.

3 Foods That Make Your Child Sharper

Written by Salina Jivani

Homework, soccer, tutoring lessons, piano practice. What don’t parents do to ensure their kids a bright, promising future? While extracurricular activities can help build a child’s confidence and intelligence, most parents miss out on another key component that can effectively help foster a healthy, sharp mind in their children…a healthy diet.

 

Here are three foods that are proven to cultivate sharper minds and more intelligent kids.

Almonds
Almonds are great for kids because they contain fatty acids and are also extremely rich in protein, which is great for brain cell repair. Also, almonds are proven to improve your child’s cognitive functions, which equals improved memory.

Fish
There’s nothing fishy about fish being great for the mind. Salmon and mackerel have tons of Omega 3 fatty acids—which are prime material for a child’s brain because they keep memory sharp, prevent mental skills from declining and have a great dose of Vitamin D (especially handy in winter months when you’re child’s more likely indoors than out).

 

Eggs
If you’re looking for an all-around wholesome food, you can never go wrong with good ol’ eggs. Egg yolks in particular contain amazing nutrients that promote healthy communication between cells and improve memory function. The best part about eggs is that they can be cooked in many different ways, catering to even the pickiest of eaters.

 

Diet lays the groundwork for your child’s success…so don’t neglect it!

 

 

How to be a Gentleman When Your Woman’s Got the Monthly Blues


Written by Salina Jivani

Call it Aunt Flo or the punctuation at the end of a sentence, a period is a tough time of month…for both a woman and her guy pal. If you’re wondering how you can make it through it on a good note, we’ve got some tips up our wings…err…sleeves. And they come directly from women who know what it’s like to fight that monthly beast.

 

Be considerate

Understand that her hormones are going crazy…and all she really wants is for you to be sensitive to her aches, pains and emotions. Massage her shoulders, rub her feet, cuddle her. In other words, do whatever she wants. After all, you’re supposed to be there through thick and thin, right? Being there for her through her period is not even the tip of the iceberg, honey!

 

Don’t run and hide

If high emotions make you jittery, you might be tempted to clam up or stay away. But that’s not going to make her feel any better. She needs you, so hold her and comfort her. And let her know that you’re there.

 

Pamper her
Women usually crave sweet munchies like chocolate, cookies or a tub of their favorite flavor of Ben & Jerry’s. Why not get on her good side by hitting the store when you know her cycle’s about to start? Not only will it help her feel comforted, but it’ll also get you in her good graces…never a bad thing.

Periods are no fun…and it sucks that they’re not a one-time battle. But remember that all she really needs is you and some extra special loving. Do just that, and you’ll be considered a gentleman—and one she’ll appreciate.

How to Be a Kick-Ass Communicator

Written By Salina Jivani

You may be intelligent, but do you ever find yourself faltering when it comes to communicating your thoughts well? Unfortunately, not being able to articulate your thoughts or relay your main point in an effective way means you’re missing out on sharing your brilliance. After all, great thoughts have to be articulated to be beneficial to others. Here are three simple ways you can be a top-notch communicator…just like you’re a top-notch everything else.

Present the problem

The first few moments of any conversation are golden—because it’s when people are paying attention the most. So get to the point right away and tell them what exactly the issue or main point is. In other words—be quick and brief.

Paint a picture

People love stories—give them one. Sharing an anecdote or a colorful example that reiterates your main point is a great way to keep your audience listening in rapture and drive home that point further.

Invite feedback

Once you’re through presenting your main point and sharing an example or supporting story, you can tie up with a quick sentence reiterating your main point. And then, be sure to let your audience contribute by inviting them to offer feedback and thoughts.

Communicating is a two-way street. By following these three simple steps, not only are you delivering your message in an engaging, brief way, but you’re also keeping the gates of communication open by allowing your audience to chime in—which is really what communicating is all about.

3 Things You Shouldn’t Do Right After a Fight

Written by Salina Jivani

They say men are from Mars and women are from Venus. And maybe they, whoever “they” are, are right, because it certainly can be difficult to understand the opposite sex, leading to frustration, arguments, and, yes, even fights. Whether bickering is a pretty regular occurrence in your day-to-day life with your partner or not, fights are inevitable, here are three big-time no-nos to avoid once the fireworks have died down.

Reject their apology

If your partner is gathering the guts and courage to dish out an apology—no matter how wrong they are—take it. You don’t have to apologize in return, and, yes, maybe you’re still a wee bit mad, but do not throw their apology back in their face…unless you’re hoping for WWII.

 

Act like it never happened

The worst thing you can do is nearly rip each other’s heads off to only moments later act like nothing ever even happened. Shoving your fight under the proverbial rug will only create for more tension and unresolved disputes—both of which are never healthy in a relationship and will either resurface later on or create an unsurmountable wedge between the two of you. Learn to talk things out so that you know better for next time. After all, relationships are about growing, not repeating past mistakes.

Stay angry

Giving your partner the cold shoulder or throwing sarcastic jabs his or her way after the fight is over is not the way to go. Instead, if you feel that strongly about what’s happened, talk it out in a healthy, adult-like way, and let the anger out.

 

Fights are tough, and forgiving can be even tougher. But in the end, forgiveness is the only way you’ll be able to move forward in any relationship and build a stronger, better you.