Marriage is a word that is often viewed and seen as something to celebrate, or a type of goal or aspiration to reach at the “perfect time” in one’s life. It is something that many people consider to be a personal goal in terms of bringing completion or finding stability. It’s seen as a way to settle down and end the sowing of “royal oats” as mentioned by King Jaffe Joffer in the cult classic movie “Coming to America.” But often, the reality and perception of many, about what marriage appears to be, versus what it really is, is a large contrast. We want to offer some practical ways to combat marital challenges with our marriage tips.
After 14 years of marriage we’ve adopted a slogan “Fight To Make It Work.” This slogan reminds us to stay on the same team when we have differing views and opinions. A big rule of thumb is to remember that positive re-enforcement always adds to the building blocks of marital success. In our daily routines, it becomes very easy to get distracted by stumbling blocks, whether by a rouge driver who cuts us off at an intersection, to overwhelming tasks at work, or even the constant demand and responsibility that children bring into our unions.
To add to these various things that place stress on a marriage, we have to always be concerned with pleasing our spouse and making them happy. In order to do this, it has to be our aim to bring out the positives about your spouse. In doing this, it will become much easier to give criticism if there are areas you would like to see your spouse improve in. Remember, life isn’t just what happens to us, it’s how we respond to what happens. If you don’t like the way your spouse is behaving in a certain area, search within yourself to tell them what it is they do well first. Build them up with positive feedback, and then introduce the area where you see their opportunity to improve. Because it ALWAYS feels better to a person when they are told what they are doing well, before they are reminded of where there is needed improvement. This is how we “Fight to Make it Work.”
“You Create the Marriage of Your Dreams”
Dave & Kimmie