We’ve all heard the statement “Men are from Mars & Women are from Venus.” And while we understand that men and women are very different, it’s also important to note the MANY similarities that we possess when it comes to our individual needs. Often, we are looking for the same results and want similar things, but we have completely different ways of communicating the HOW!
Have you ever found that in saying something simple to your spouse, it can easily be perceived or heard a totally different way than the way in which you intended it? Did that moment ease your nerves or did it cause frustration? We could assume the second one lol.. Why is this?? Why is it that when we mean one thing, we get interpreted in a totally different stratosphere? LOL.. Well we’re glad that you asked! It’s all about Communication. It’s the one thing that makes all other things come together. And one thing’s for sure, if not carefully pursued, poor communication can cause lots of problems further down the road. Attentive and thorough communication skills is a “course” that you’ll have to enroll in once you become married. A communication breakdown is a sure way to find yourself in a place that leaves both parties feeling unfulfilled, neglected, and even as if your thoughts, views, or feelings don’t matter.
It really takes concentrated effort and active listening skills to effectively communicate. Did you know that talking is only a part of communicating? The other part is listening and receiving the transmission of information. Sometimes, we listen to our spouses with the intention to react, and not with the desire to respond once we have received what was said. In a Huffington Post study, it was found that poor communication was the #1 cause of divorce. And while we don’t know how accurate this study was, we do know that validation, acceptance, and a sense of belonging all come from how we speak to each other. Sometimes, the way that we were raised plays a big part in how we talk to our spouse. This can become an issue that we have to confront when we find that we’ve talked ourselves into conflict. We then have to find better ways to interact with our spouse because of personality differences and ways of talking. Another communication barrier can be the unwillingness by one party or the other, to talk or discuss at length, valid and needful topics.
We will close on this point. You can’t have a great marriage and have poor communication at the same time. Give your spouse what they need, even if it means coming outside of comfort zones. FIGHT TO MAKE IT WORK!!!
“You Create the Marriage of Your Dreams”
Dave & Kimmie