Dear VEU Magazine and Torian,
Q: One of my friends is somewhat unsupportive. What is the best way to deal with knowing your best friend doesn’t really believe in what you do?
A: It happens. It’s unfortunate but, nevertheless, it happens. We seek approval and support from those we consider to be our biggest support system… family and friends. When the support doesn’t come, it can feel like being hit with a ton of bricks.
Here are a few things you ought to try:
1. Have an open and honest dialogue. Instead of getting upset and shutting down, try opening up. Talk to your friend and let them know you are just as scared or excited. Let them know you may not have everything figured out just yet but you plan on taking a leap of faith. Then, don’t be apprehensive to ask them why they aren’t as supportive as you need them to be.
2. Take them to an event. I am notorious for doing this. If I have a speaking gig, I’d simply ask that person to accompany me. Allow them the opportunity to see for themselves. What tends to happen is that they can see you in your natural element; they witness your passion, your excitement, and your love for whatever you are doing. People say “seeing is believing.” Once they see what you do, as opposed to hearing it all the time, they may change the level of support.
3. Include them. This is much like the previous tip. Many times, we find that those friends aren’t unsupportive but they may feel like they have to compete for your attention. I understand that you have to devote time to your craft but they may simply feel neglected and as a result, become less supportive.
Always remember, life is too short to be unhappy and surrounded by unsupportive people. This is especially true for your journey to success. I understand you may want tons of people that support you but the cold hard truth is that not everyone will be there for you. Know when to cut ties and end relationships if it is doing more bad than good.
I wish you much success, positivity, and growth in all your endeavors!
Signed- The Professor of Personal Growth, Torian Salary
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