Written by Salina Jivani
Remember what it felt like when you first started dating? The fire burning in your belly, the desire-filled glances, and how you couldn’t get enough of each other?
And then two years later, you’re eating out of a bucket of Ben & Jerry’s, cuddled up on the couch, limbs entangled, watching “Titanic,” with little to no desire to get freaky…what happened to the sparks?
No, they didn’t fizzle out like a campfire under an ice-cold bucket of water. They’re still there, they just need some reviving, which isn’t difficult, really. The secret’s in one word: responsiveness. And really, responsiveness is a two-part deal: physical responsiveness and verbal responsiveness.
When your partner’s talking, don’t tune them out. Listen—actually listen—and respond to what they’re saying. Ask them what they’re feeling, respond when they share something with you, and be present when they’re sharing their thoughts instead of tuning into that Super Bowl commercial. Being responsive through words is called verbal responsiveness.
On the other hand, physical responsiveness is, well, pretty self explanatory (and fun). Hugging, kissing, caressing and making love are all a part of physical responsiveness.
Now, combine verbal and physical responsiveness, and what have you got? A recipe for a hot, steamy, satisfying session between the sheets. Why? Because everyone loves feeling important, cared for, and physically appreciated—and when you’re responsive toward your partner, that’s exactly what you make them feel, creating a sizzling equation for mind-boggling sex.
So go on. The next time your partner tells you they’re not in the mood, give it a try and watch the sparks fly.